


Like countless stars (always in the same place)

by devinemoon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devinemoon/pseuds/devinemoon
Summary: The hospital hidden in the outskirts of the city has one main purpose: Provide comfort for those whose love was never reciprocated, or for those who once was but will never be again.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. When the day met the night

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! i've been working on this for some days now and i finally decided to post it! i hope everyone enjoys it, the first chapter is only a small intro but i'll try to make the other chapters longer!
> 
> comments are appreciated!! thank you for reading <3

Their first encounter was when they crossed paths while wandering around the hospital hallway. Both of them look way too young and way too sane to be there. If it weren’t for the rose-colored band wrapped around their right wrist no one would have guessed what they were doing around the inpatient section of the big hospital outside the city. “Where tragic lovers go to hide and die”, they say.

And they´re not wrong. The hospital hidden in the outskirts of the city has one main purpose: Provide comfort for those whose love was never reciprocated, or for those who once was but will never be again. Where people go to die and when they finally do, their bodies become what made them come in the first place. Pearls for those whose love has blinded, and flowers for those whose lungs were filled with petals and thorns.

So, they meet in the hallway. It’s evening and the warm rays of sun peak through every window that is not covered by curtains or blinds. Mark notices that the boy’s hair catches said rays of sun, they dance around the curls as if they had a mind of its own. Making a pretty crown on top of his head, lighting up his eyes in the process. He can spot a couple of moles too, almost like a constellation.

Just then, their eyes meet. Only for a couple of seconds, before they both take different routes. As he walks away from that first encounter, he tosses the image of the boy with the sunshine crown to the back of his head and soon after, he gets to his room to stay there for the rest of the evening, where he watches the sun going down and the moon take its place. 

In his dreams he sees some carnation flowers and some orchids circling around a big meadow, and in front of him, the boy with the golden crown once again. 


	2. The Heart Works On Its Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His voice is quiet, but the room is drowned in silence and accompanied by the whispers of the wind outside. “After all, it’s not his fault he can’t love me. The heart works on it’s own, and doesn’t listen to anyone, whether it is wrong or right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> 20 something - SZA  
> You lie all the time - beabadoobee  
> Okinawa - 92914

_**"Sad adults always only walk backwards** _  
_**You, who just passed your Terrible Twenty, look bored** _  
_**Because don’t want to be set on fire and burn quickly** _  
_**We’re cheering for love."** _

_**\- TOMBOY, Hyukoh.** _

He learns his name by accident.

He doesn’t exactly mean to eavesdrop on the nurse nagging at the boy, in fact he was just walking towards his room after his medical check-up when he hears her calling his name.

“Donghyuck, darling I told you not to go outside before the checkup.” The young nurse tells him. She is in the middle of the room scolding the boy. The door is open about halfway.

“Why does it matter anyway?” The boy answers, not even once making eye contact with the nurse in front of him. He’s seated on the floor of his own room, paint and paper surrounding him. Colors of blue and green adorn his hands and stain his cheeks. “I’m going to die anyway. More or less sunshine won’t make the difference. They’ll keep growing inside of me.”

That’s when he also learns the boy’s tragedy, all by accident and definitely eavesdropping this time.

Donghyuck is about to complain about the door being open when he meets his gaze once again, he looks taken aback by the sudden spy watching him from the hallway. They look at each other from the distance, the nurse’s nagging long forgotten, before Donghyuck decides to stick out his tongue at Mark. Mark scoffs, frowning at him before walking away from the scene.

He thinks the stranger is annoying and childish. ‘How could someone be so annoying without even getting to know him?’ he thinks as he walks towards his room. Out of everyone inside the hospital, he’s the only one that has managed to annoy him. He sighs.

“D-o-n-g-h-y-u-c-k” he spells once he’s inside his own room;he letters going through his lips at least three times, savoring the name on his tongue and filling the room with said name, With the moon peeking through his window.

“Huh. That’s a pretty name.”

➳♡゛

They officially meet in Mark’s second week of the inpatient program when the nurses are moving Donghyuck to the room in front of Mark’s. Out of all the patients in the hospital, they seem to be the youngest, and in the nurses room they are a hot topic. Young and tragic, they secretly call them. It’s disheartening really, watching two young boys wandering around the hospital and just… waiting. Waiting for something they don’t even know about. 

One of the nurses explains to Mark that they decided to move Donghyuck to the room in front of his because they don’t want the other to feel lonely or out of place, and they encourage them to talk to each other. So, without a warning Donghyuck drops by after dinner, letting himself inside Mark’s room while the boy reads a book.

“Your name.” Donghyuck speaks.

“What are you doing here? Get out.” Mark raises his voice a little, but not enough to wake up the whole second floor they’re in.

“You seemed to have no problem getting into my business last time.” Donghyuck replays simply, sitting on the floor by Mark’s bed. “Your name, what’s your name?”

“Oh, uh. Mark, I’m Mark Lee.”

Donghyuck smiles at him, getting up from the floor and offering his hand for Mark to take.

“Lee Donghyuck, nineteen, three weeks into hanahaki disease.”

Mark shakes hands with him. In comparison to his own hands, Donghyuck's hands are warm.

“Mark Lee.“ He repeats. “Nineteen, two weeks into hanahaki disease.”

They spend the rest of the night talking about everything that can cross their minds. About their diagnosis, their hobbies, what brought them there in the first place. They’re strangers, yes, but there’s nothing to hide inside the hospital, there  has to be a purpose for them to be there. So, Mark decides to open up to the stranger.  _ “There’s nothing to lose anymore” _ he thinks.

“I didn’t want him to feel guilty for not being able to love me.” Donghyuck explains. His voice is quiet, but the room is drowned in silence and  accompanied by  the whispers of the wind outside. “After all, it’s not his fault he can’t love me. The heart works on it’s own, and doesn’t listen to anyone, whether it is wrong or right.”

He looks sad, his eyes cast the most beautiful lights, even when everything surrounding the is drowned in darkness. He looks sad, and cold. And Mark’s mind tells him to cover him, to wrap him with warmth and tell him that everything is okay. Even when it isn’t, even when they don’t know if it will ever be. 

“I told my parents I was going away for some scholarship and I told him that I wouldn’t be able to keep in contact. And now I’m here. By myself and waiting for the day. I feel guilty because I’m hiding from my family. But i would feel even more guilty if they saw me dying a little more each day.”

They are both laying on the floor, looking outside of Mark’s window and watching the leaves sing a song that only the wind knows. It’s the beginning of July, but the night is chilly. They unknowingly find comfort in it. The night, the stars in the sky and telling a stranger your deepest secrets, the ones that hurt the most.

“I did something similar.” Mark tells him. Pursuing his lips before the words come out again. “I came here to hide from him until, well, the time comes. Only my best friend knows I’m here. We told my parents I was moving out of state and they never asked any questions.”

The words felt heavy on his tongue before, they used to burned like pure vodka down his throat. But now, he lets them float in the air and his chest feels so much lighter. He hurts, he feels as guilty as Donghyuck feels, but he realizes it just after the room falls silent. 

Donghyuck turns to his side, looking at Mark’s side profile as much as the dark allows him.

“You seem scared, Mark.”

The moonlight casts pale blue lights in Mark’s hair, as if pretty diamonds were dripping into his dark hair. Mark turns to his side as well and stares for a while. His lips quiver as he sees himself in Donghyuck’s eyes. 

“I am. I truly am.” He sighs. 


	3. Honeysuckles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just like seeing the world. I like looking at everything and everyone because one day i might not be able to do it again. And that day could be today, or tomorrow. I'll do everything I want today so the day I turn into a flower I feel like I lived enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back :] after some time without my laptop and basically no internet i finally have the next chapter!!! sorry it took so long, i hope you like it <3 remeber to stay safe and take care of yourself. Comments and kudos are appreciated
> 
> Playlist  
> To build a home - The Cinematic Orchestra  
> Sick of Losing Soulmates - Dodie  
> Always, I’ll care - Jeremy Zucker

**_“By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top_ **

**_I climbed the tree to see the world_ **

**_When the gusts came around to blow me down_ **

**_I held on as tightly as you held onto me”_ **

**_-To Build a home, The Cinematic Orchestra_ **

Donghyuck likes to sneak around. He learns that the first 3 days after he moves to the room in front of his’. One second he’s chilling in his room, bothering Mark every once in a while and the next thing he knows the nurse is asking him if he’s seen Donghyuck. 

It’s bothersome, really. Because Donghyuck appears at the most unusual places. In a different wing of the hospital, talking to the elders, in the kitchen. He also chooses the worst times to sneak out, whether it is right before his checkups or during lunch time. But he doesn’t seem to be bothered by the constant naging of the nurses or the doctors themselves. 

“Where were you? They’ve been looking for you for an hour.” Mark asks, somewhat annoyed. 

But Donghyuck only shugs, focusing on eating the cookies left on his tray. 

He invited Mark over to eat lunch in his room after the nurses found him back in his  _ own bedroom _ after looking for him for about three hours. No matter how many times Mark asks, not even if he offers him his own cookies in exchange for his secret, Donghyuck keeps his mouth shut. 

Mark groans, falling backwards and landing his back on the floor. 

“Why do you even want to know? Miss me much?” He grins at Mark while biting into the cookie. 

“I want to know because it could be the middle of the night and the nurses would come knocking on my door and ask for you. It’s tiresome, you know?” 

Donghyuck finishes his cookies. In fact the cookies are the only thing in his tray that he actually finishes. Half of a sandwich and an apple are left there, almost untouched.

“I just like seeing the world. I like looking at everything and everyone because one day i might not be able to do it again. And that day could be today, or tomorrow. I'll do everything I want today so the day I turn into a flower I feel like I lived enough.” 

Mark stays silent, trying to process everything Donghyuck just said. The words  _ today _ and  _ tomorrow _ echoing inside his head. 

“Are you going to eat your cookies?” He asks, crawling his way to Mark’s tray. Mark gets up as fast as he can, looking at the youngest’s own tray. 

“If you finish your apple I’ll give you the whole bag.” He tells him. 

Donghyuck whines at him. 

Mark doesn’t exactly know why but ever since he grew close to Donghyuck he has the need to make sure he’s alright. He makes sure he eats and secretly looks for him when the nurses tell him his neighbour has disappeared once again. He does everything he can to make sure Donghyuck is safe, and happy.

“Then I guess you don’t really want the cookies.” 

“WAIT!”

****__  
  


➳♡゛

****

Mark quickly learns that inside the inpatient unit there are good days as much as there are bad ones. Some days the nurses give them treats secretly and new art supplies for Donghyuck. Some other days he can hear Donghyuck coughing softly and remembers that they are in the hospital for a reason.

On Mark’s third week inside the hospital, he joins Donghyuck to his medical checkup. The nurse weights and measures him, gives him a robe, and scans his lungs.

“How are you doing so far?” The doctor asks. “Any pain? Sudden temperature drops? “

“I think I’m doing okay.” He answers while staying still in the metal bed. “I just started coughing every once in a while. Sometimes it goes away for a day or two, some other days it happens like every hour.”

Mark looks at him for a moment. Donghyuck looks more fragile than when he first saw him. His wrist has thinned out more, and his hair seems less shiny and lively than it has ever been.

“That’s normal. The flowers are starting to grow and now they’re just small buds, but nothing to worry too much about.”

Mark looks at the screen, where three small buds are showing. They seem to be smaller than a penny, so tiny and fragile. Just like Donghyuck.

He thinks he can actually pinpoint every feeling inside the room. He feels too much. Sadness, worry, anxiety. He feels everything as he looks at Donghyuck. Donghyuck who doesn’t seem to feel any of the emotions he feels. He’s like a book whose pages have been drowned in water. Some of them are blurry, some others are torned apart. 

“Can you see what type of flower?” Donghyuck asks the doctor. She shifts into his seat before looking at him.

“Not really, they’re so small you can barely see them.”

He hums as the nurse helps him out of the metal bed and gives him his shirt.

They walk through the hallway as they make their way out of the room and back into their own rooms. It’s almost six p.m. and the sun is bathing everything in yellow and gold, slipping through the windows once again.

“I think they’re honeysuckles.” The sun pets Donghyuck’s face gently as they walk by an open window.

“Huh?”

“The flowers. I think they’re honeysuckles.”

“Why do you think they are honeysuckles?”

“He gifted me one when we were in seventh grade.” He responds simply.

They stop by another open window, looking outside and into the green garden hidden in the back of the hospital. Mark has never been there, but Donghyuck seems to spend most of his alone time there.

“I think they’re sunflowers.” Mark tells him.

Donghyuck rests his head in his palm, looking at Mark. The sun decides to decorate his hair with the golden crown once again as he does.

“And why is that?” He asks.

“Because you always seem to be seeking for the sun, even when the nurses tell you not to, even when I tell you not to. And because every time you meet the sun, a golden crown appears in your head. Just like now.”

➳♡゛

“You need to eat.” Mark tells a grumpy Donghyuck.

They’re inside the youngest’s locked room. The nurses had tried for hours to get him to come out and eat, but he refused. After they get Mark to talk to him, Donghyuck opens the door, letting him in before locking them inside once again.

“No.”

“That was not a question, Hyuck.”

“And even if it was, you’re getting the same answer.”

Donghyuck is a picky eater, Mark learned that quickly too. He doesn’t eat tomatoes because they “taste bad”, doesn’t eat apples unless they’re cut in small pieces and definitely won’t eat mayo because it “smells weird.” 

But he also has the biggest sweet tooth Mark has ever witnessed. He eats honey bread, cookies, and candy like it's his last meal. His tea always has way too much honey for Mark’s liking, and he keeps a drawer full of sweet treats.

Mark huffs at the sight of Hyuck laying on the floor and still refusing to eat. The room is silent, and they spend the time just like that. At one-point Mark decides to lay down too and rest there. By the time his eyes try to look outside Hyuck’s window it’s already dark outside and huffs again. They spend most of the day locked inside the room and Donghyuck doesn’t seem to cooperate.

“I think he knows I’m here.”

Mark rolls onto his belly at the words, looking at the boy.

“What?”

Donghyuck points a finger at his desk without taking his eyes from the ceiling. There’s a single flower in a glass with water. A honeysuckle.

“The nurses came in this morning and told me someone had left it near the entrance with the small note hanging from it. It has my name written on it, but nothing else.”

He turns to his belly too, looking directly at the flower just like Mark does.

“I was actually so scared he would be here that I refused to go out. I’d rather starve than to see him.”

Mark looks at him. This is the first time he’s seen Donghyuck truly scared. Not when the doctor told him about the flowers, not when the nurses scolded him big time, not even when he started coughing.

He thinks Donghyuck looks better in the daylight, when he’s wearing his sunshine crown, when the sun lights up his face and shows his skin tone like a trophy. When the sun claims him as his prince.

“Get up.” Mark tells him, holding his forearm and making him stand up with him. He manages to unlock and open the door before Donghyuck suddenly stops walking. When he looks at him, he looks like a baby deer. His big eyes filled with fear.

“I promise you he won’t be there.” He looks directly into his eyes. Slowly, but surely his hand slides from Donghyuck’s forearm until their hands interlace. “I’m here with you. We’ll go to the kitchen, make something quick and come back to your room. Okay?”

Donghyuck nods and Mark holds his hand a little tighter before stepping out of the room.

They end up sneaking into the kitchen to make some of the extremely sweet tea Donghyuck likes and grabbing some chocolate cookies. Successfully going back to Donghyuck’s room without anyone noticing.

Inside the nurses’ room one of the younger nurses watches them on the tv connected to the hallways cameras but decides to let them get away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @10velyfebruary on twt, any questions or opinions can be left in my cc <3

**Author's Note:**

> @10velyfebruary on twt


End file.
